abusive department store relationships

So I went a little crazy the last night and hit up the other side of KOP (the side without Urban & Bloom). I headed into Nordstrom first. They were having a giant sale which should have excited me but really just annoyed me because of how crowded it was. While I was checking out the shoes, two people asked me if I needed help. No, thanks. Just looking. I headed up the stairs to the clothing section and wandered around a bit. Need any help, hon? No, I'm fine. Can I start you a room? Oh, sure, these 2 shirts were starting to hurt my wrist... Finding everything ok? Yep, doing fine thanks.... Can I start you a dressing room? Oh well I already have one but ok.... How's everything fitting? Need any more sizes? No thank, I'm all set. Good lord these ladies were ...talkative. Helpful... but talkative. I walked out of the dressing room and there was a girl standing right there (How long had she been there? You can see right through those dressing room slats!) - How'd everything work out? Oh.. great. Can I take what you're not getting? Sure, as I handed her all but one of the items I brought in. Oh, that dress is beautiful! Haha, yeah, I know, that's why I'm buying it lady. As I took out my wallet to pay for it - OMG is your wallet from Anthro? Oh, yeah it is... I love it! SO cute! I left feeling a bit tired from all the responding I had to do.

As I was leaving I was thought back to my last shopping trip at Bloomingdales. I wandered around for about a half hour, slowly gathering approx 15 different things, carrying them all (serious wrist hurtage) and never once did anyone ever ask me if I needed help, or at least offer to start me a fitting room (Actually, they did offer to start me a fitting room one time when I had about 11 things. When I went back to find my stuff, they had put it all back... The dumb blond lady was like 'Oh, sorry' while creepily staring into the distance.) Once in the fitting room, which I had to pretty much just walk into myself cause no one was around, there's no chance of anyone getting you a different size if you need it. But somehow I alwayssss find more things, try on more things, and definitely buy more things at Bloomingdales...

Then I got to thinking, it's like Bloomingdales is my abusive boyfriend who is mean and controlling. But I keep going back to him. Cause, we're in love. And on one sees it but us. And he's not always this way. Like last week, he told me he wanted to take me out to dinner. We didn't end up actually going but it's my fault, really. He was tired. And my friends they just don't understand our love, I think some of them are even jealous and that's why they don't like him. Oh, and he has a motorcycle.

And then I met Nordstrom. Like, maybe at work. He is super nice and funny. He buys me coffee and drops by my office just to chat. He reads to blind kids at night and visits nursing homes on weekends. He tires to take me out to dinner but ehhh, he's cute and funny and smart all but... too nice. Plus I keep getting distracted by the hot new guy they just hired from Harvard, Neiman Marcus.

Peace and department store boyfriends,


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